Searching For A Muse
by TerraPrime
Summary: My name is Muse, sister to Bulkhead and Breakdown. I have a very long story, but I would like to start at the end. No, not the beggining of the end. Just The End. Fin. Game Over. Starscream killed me. I'm dead. What else is there to tell? You'd be surprised. Wheeljack/OC Prequel is titled Finding A Muse
1. Death

Okay so explanation...My other story Finding A Muse is the prequel but you don't need to read it to understand this story. I had the idea for this story first, but I figured it needed a prequel.

**Bond Talk**

Comm. Link

"Regular Speech"

'Thoughts'

_Bumblebee_

* * *

Searching For A Muse

Chapter 1

* * *

**Muse's P.O.V**

'Turn that racket off, Muse!' Ratchet yelled through the comm. link, 'The comm. is for important communications only.'

'What!?' I said after I turned off _Pac-man by Owl City_ 'This is important, it's the perfect theme song for Bumblebee!' I blocked him from my comm. frequency as I said goodbye to Bumblebee, who had listened in on the song until Ratchet had gone and yelled at me for abusing the comm. links. He didn't usually yell at me because I was his star student. He was just grumpy today.

I patched into Cliffjumper's frequency just in time to hear him say that he had something on the scanner. I jumped up and locked the ground-bridge onto his co-ordinates and fired up the bridge. I transformed and drove through the bridge at top speed. I knew if I told him I was coming that he would just send me back to base. I knew that they were only looking out for me because I was, in their opinions, too young to fight in the war. Seriously? I fought with the Wreakers for vorns before coming here?

My older brothers, Bulkhead and Breakdown, had watched over me since I was about 8 in human terms. I had lived with the Wreckers since I was the human equivalent of 9-years-old and since I wasn't allowed on the missions, I served as the unofficial team medic. Wheeljack, Bulkhead's best friend, taught me how to fight and how to use a sword. I was good, but that didn't change my brother's mind about me fighting.

The turning point in my life was when Breakdown had been left alone in the base with me. He was a traitor and tried to steal information about the location of Optimus Prime's base on earth. I managed to fend him off until Bulkhead got back. It was then that my brother decided to join Optimus on earth. He thought it was too dangerous for me to continue to as a Wrecker because of Breakdown.

We had closed off out sibling bond with Breakdown and hadn't opened it since. Unfortunately, it didn't let me block out his attempts to contact me. When I blocked the bond it was like I had put up a mental wall and he was almost constantly trying to break it down. Well, at first it was constant, then it was once every solar cycle, now once every human week. I missed him and wanted nothing more than to open the bond and let him talk to me, but he had betrayed me. He would try to talk me into joining the Decepticons or something.

Everyone at base was overprotective of me even though I was only a bit younger than Bumblebee, everyone except Cliffjumper. Cliff was often reckless and talked too much, but he was fun and caved in pretty easily. He was like a fun uncle, while ratchet was like a grumpy uncle, who liked me a little more than everyone else. Optimus was like a sire to me, and Arcee was a cool older sister, Bumblebee was like a slightly older brother.

"Ahhh…" I yelped as I came out of the bridge and nearly collided with a Decepticon drone that Cliff had thrown. I didn't hesitate to transform and draw my swords and cut the 'con's arms off. I wondered how long Cliff had been fighting. "What are you doing here?!" Cliff yelled as he dodged blaster fire.

"I didn't know there would be 'cons here!" I yelled back, "I thought I could help you out." I looked forward just in time to see a 'con's fist connect with my face. I went flying backwards into the energon crystals.

_Ow!_ I thought as I onlined my optics. The world was fuzzy and a thought I heard Cliff calling my name. I was about to reply when a deafening roar filled my audios. I felt myself go flying through the air, _again_, a sharp pain in by backplates, then I connected with the ground, and then…nothing.

**Bulkhead's P.O.V.**

I listened as Muse excitedly explained to Bumblebee through the comm. link that she had found the perfect song for him. I listened to the song as I drove and laughed at the song, it was almost like what it sounded like when Bumblebee tried to sing. I could feel anger, annoyance, and disappointment radiating from her side of the bond as Ratchet interrupted the song and then told her that she was abusing the comm. links.

She loved earth music and culture more than anything. She often downloaded e-books from the human internet onto her data-pad. She tried to hide the fact that she was what human's called a "book-worm". She would try to cover it up by listening to loud music and hiding the data-pad when the others were around. I would often catch her lying down in her berth reading. Her berthroom was covered with posters from her favorite human bands and she had discovered a thing humans called 'pillows' and had convinced Agent Fowler to get her some giant-sized 'pillows' made for her.

Fowler had a soft spot for her and no one blamed him, everybody on Team Prime loved her. She was energetic and always was around to lighten the mood with some music. I didn't want to endanger her by letting her go into battle. I especially didn't want her to run into Breakdown again. I knew my little sis' well enough to know that if she saw him on the battlefield, again, she would be in her berthroom crying for Primus knows how long. She tried to hide it, soldiering on and laughing, but it broke her a little more every time she saw him. I didn't want that to happen to her. Not again. She didn't deserve to be betrayed like that.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a sharp pain from her side of the bond. I was about to ask what had happened when a huge wave of pain crashed through the bond. I swerved to a stop and started to turn around when I receive a comm. from Arcee 'Arcee to Optimus. The 'cons are back and Cliff may be neck-deep in scrap by now.' Optimus immediately tried to comm. my sister to send a bridge but no response. I thought for a second and realized with dread what had happened. 'Optimus, Muse followed Cliffjumper. She's in pain, but I can't reach her through the bond which means she must be unconscious' I said hurriedly and listened to him drone on about how I should keep calm but, I knew Optimus was worried out of his mind too. He loved he like she was his own daughter, even if he tried to hide it.

Arcee reached base and sent a bridge for us. I quickly ran through to find Optimus, Arcee, Ratchet, and Bumblebee looking very worried. The second I stepped out of the bridge it closed and opened again. We all ran through to find a smoking crater in the ground. An untapped energon deposit or what was left of it. Arcee jumped down into the crater and saw something. She walked forward and picked it up. It was a broken horn. I looked away from the sight and saw something even more horrifying jammed in the energon crystals.

I ran forward and picked up one of Muse's katanas. It was bent and covered with energon. It was one of the swords Wheeljack had given her, back when they were in the Wreckers. He had a crush on her from the moment he had seen her. Oh Primus, what was I going to tell him if... No, she isn't going to offline. The others had looked over and seen the sword by then. I realized that I had stared at it for a while.

I handed Arcee the katana and began to walk towards Ratchet when I felt a wave of pain through our bond. She was awake! "**Muse! Where the frag are you!?" **I yelled at her and then internally winced as I realized I had just sent all my angry feelings toward the 'cons through our bond. I must have sounded really angry with her. I hope she didn't take that the wrong way. I felt another wave of pain and then the bond closed off from her side. "She blocked me." I whispered.

She had only blocked me twice. Once in her first battle and then, when Breakdown betrayed her. I just stood there, stunned, for a few minutes. _"Please don't let her die!"_ I prayed silently and turned toward Ratchet just as an unbearable pain flooded my systems and I fell forward. My spark felt like it was being torn apart.

Our bond opened for a second and the pain worsened, "**Wreak and Rule, Bulk."**

Muse was dying and I couldn't do a slagging thing about it.

**Muse's P.O.V. **

I felt like scrap. I let loose a string of metal curses as my optics failed to online.** "Muse, where the frag are you?!" **I heard Bulkhead yell through our bond, waves of anger crashing down on me. I cursed again as I realized he was feeling my pain and blocked our bond. I tried again and I managed to online one optic and found I was lying on a metal floor. I saw a 'con standing over me and I panicked momentarily till I realized he wasn't looking at me.

He was watching as two drones dragged a thoroughly beaten Cliffjumper toward him. When Cliff saw me he started to thrash and a saw his mouth moving, but I couldn't hear him. I ran a quick self-diagnostic that told me that I had only 10% of my energon left, was leaking very badly, my audios were busted, I was missing my left arm, and if I didn't get help soon I would offline.

'_Wow, that was very depressing' _I thought to myself as I watched Cliffjumper say something to the Seeker. The Cons' smug expression quickly turned to one of fury and he drew back his claws I knew immediately what he was going to do.

"Cliff, no!" I yelled and time seemed to slow down as I made a split-second decision. I opened my sibling bond with Bulkhead. **"Wreak and Rule, Bulk."** I said as I leapt in front of Cliffjumper just in time for the 'cons talons to connect with my exposed neck cables. The last thing I saw was the horrified face of Cliffjumper.

I knew this would be my last chance to do it, so I opened my bond with Breakdown, **"I love you. I don't care if you're a 'con or not. You're still my brother."** I knew that the message sounded stupid, but it was all I could think to say. As the world faded and the oblivion closed in I was painfully aware of my brothers' pained voices screaming my name through our bond.

Then I let the darkness take me away, completely unaware of the significance of what I had just done...

* * *

Okay, so everyone must realize that if this has strayed from my usual writing style, I did write this a year ago, as my first real fanfiction. I can't believe I haven't posted this already!


	2. Plain and Simple?

Sorry for leaving you all on such a tragic cliffhanger for so long. I hope you can forgive me.

Disclaimer: If I owned Transformers, it wouldn't be legal to write fan fic for it.

* * *

Searching For a Muse

Chapter 2

Forgotten?

* * *

**Cliffjumper's P.O.V.**

I stared at the body, the energon pooling around it. My processor refusing to believe that I was staring at the body of Muse, the youngest member of Team Prime. I had seen soldiers die before, but this was different. She wasn't a soldier, no matter what she said. She was a medic-in-training, a friend, a _youngling._

My head snapped up at Starscream's voice, "Clean up this mess and take the other Autobot to a cell. We may be able to get information for_ Lord_ Megatron." I snapped, lunging at the Decepticon despite my injuries. My servo connected with his faceplates before anyone could react. I would have done more damage if my frame hadn't betrayed me and collapsed onto the bridge's floor.

My optics flickered out as I gave into stasis.

**Arcee's P.O.V.**

It had taken Bumblebee, Optimus, and Ratchet together to drag Bulkhead back through the Bridge after he had fallen into stasis. Ratchet had sullenly reported that Bulkhead wouldn't be out of stasis for at least a solar cycle. Optimus had immediately started to plan a rescue mission for Cliff, but, if it was even possible, he seemed more monotone than usual, giving flat commands and not meeting our optics. Bumblebee had run off to his berthroom, and I thought she had seen energon leaking from the corners of his optics, the poor youngling...

_'The 'cons would pay for offlining her. If I ever figure out which of those slaggers offlined her...'_ My series of threats went on in the back of my head, while I tried to focus on the plans for rescuing my partner. Cliff was top priority.

I couldn't stop the wince of guilt when I recalled my first thought when Ratchet had reported that Muse's spark signature had gone offline.

_'Thank Primus it wasn't Cliff...'_

Even worse, I had meant it. Cliff was always first and foremost in my processor.

"Arcee!" Ratchet snapped and I whipped my helm up to glare.

"What!?" I yelled back.

"If you were paying attention, you would know that I have a lock on Cliffjumper's co-ordinance. You, Optimus, and Bumblebee will be storming the _Nemesis_, I will be standing by in the case that Cliffjumper needs medical attention." Ratchet said stiffly and I noticed that Bumblebee was back in the room, trying and failing to hold back the whines from his damaged vocoder.

I nodded slightly, ready to do anything to get my partner back. The ground-bridge swirled to life behind me. Transforming, I turned on a dime and went through, before even Optimus or Bumblebee could even move, I was out of the base and on the warship.

The rescue mission took less than five clicks. It had opened directly next to Cliff's location. I offlined the two drones holding him before they had a chance to react.

Cliff was leaking badly, a trickle of energon coming from the corner of his mouth plates.

"Okay Partner, let's get you home." I muttered as I tried to lift his larger frame. I barely noticed the others' arrivals. Bumblebee pulled me back gently as he and Optimus picked up Cliff and dragged him between them.

I was a step behind them the whole way, worried for my partner. He would be able to tell us what had happened, if he recovered at all.

**Muse's POV**

Being offline was...boring to say the least. I certainly wasn't in the Well, but it wasn't how I imagined Pit either.

I don't really know how to describe where I was/am (I had lost track of time long ago. With no clear signs of the passage of time, it could have been clicks, solar-cycles, vorns, or even centivorns.). It wasn't black or white; it just didn't seem to exist. As I said before, it's hard to describe nothing.

I couldn't feel anything, and the absence of my sibling bond was driving me insane. I had grown used to Bulk's constant feed of emotions seeping into my own. Now there were no signs that I was ever bonded to anyone at all. I felt hollow.

_'I wonder if this is how humans feel. Not being connected to anyone.'_ If that were so, I don't think I'll ever wish I could experience being human again.

Without anything to distract me, a voice, similar to my own, began to drone on in my head, questioning anything it could.

_'I wish I knew what happened with the war. Do the Autobots win? Do the Decepticons? Does no one win? Do my brothers survive? Will they ever forgive each other? _

_What happened to my swords? How will 'Jack react? Is he even online anymore? Maybe he's here. I hope not, he would go insane without something to blow up...sorry 'build'._

_If the war had never happened, would I have met Jackie? If I had, would he still like me? Would I be friends with one of the Decepticons? Would I have ever gone to Earth? Would I ever have read Shakespeare or Sherlock Holmes? _

_Would Arcee's sparkmate have died? Would Optimus still be a Prime? Would Megatron be evil? Would we still have lost the Allspark? What about Cybertron?'_

I suddenly stopped thinking entirely, just to break the chain of questions. If I pondered those questions, I would definitely go insane.

_'I wonder if they miss me.' _The thought slipped through, stronger than the others.

_'Shut up, me.' _I hissed at the annoying, questioning voice.

It did, but I couldn't ignore the thought.

Maybe Bulkhead and Breakdown would mourn and move on, like we did with our Carrier. I'm the same as any soldier, albeit being part of the last generation created by the Allspark, so it would be easy for Optimus and Arcee to move ahead. I'd like to hope that Cliff would miss talking with me and Bee would miss my music, but I had no real way of knowing.

So I waited, not entirely sure. Maybe for Primus to come and escort me to the Well. Maybe I was expecting Unicron himself to come and drag me down to Pit, but no one came; no gods, nor demons to collect my lost spark.

_'Maybe they've forgotten about you, abandoned you'_, suggested another voice, this one was a quiet, persistent whisper, "_or perhaps you aren't worth their time.'_

_'Shut up.'_ I hissed back at the whisperer, ignoring how insane I sounded.

The voice didn't come back, but its words remained. No matter how long I was there, a simple fact could not be denied.

I had been, plain and simply, abandoned by the rest of the Universe.

* * *

So...that was chapter 2...I know it was short. Really, really short, but writers block is hard to overcome and I'm sick at the moment. Muse being dead was really hard to write, because how do you describe nothing?

Please review. If you hated it or thought I could have done better, be honest.


End file.
